Excuses for why I swam...

Yes, I've stolen this list(and am now recycling it) but I'm pretty sure he stole them too, which puts them in the public domain...

skirt blown
different paddle
borrowed paddle
uneven backband
broke backband
Not on my game
no sleep
knew what was below
rock knocked my paddle out of my hand
the best option
wanted to save energy for swim
Demo boat
Playboat on a creekboat river
Creekboat in a playspot
Big water kept stern squirting me
Little water kept me from doing a stern squirt turn
Cold weather made me lack focus
Warm water made me lack focus
Long boat wouldn't turn fast enough
Didn't have my nose plugs on
Hit a rock with my helmet
Thought I might hit a rock with my helmet
Eddy fence was 50 yards wide(for Richard)
Knee came out of the thigh braces
a mutated fish stole my paddle
its the Corps of Engineers fault
that dam spillway was near terminal
i thought it was undercut
A REAL man swims that rapid
it was the paddle snake that got me
Tried a bow rescue, with my own boat
Had to pee
and my personal favorite, "the sun was in my eyes"

I suggest that after we get a proper list together, we number them. This will save us time when we're all out of breath from swimming. Instead of having to say the whole excuse, we could just call out a number.

Example: Smartarse, "Why did you swim". Me, "Stupid number 2, 7 and 14 conpired against me. I never had a chance."

Actually, I left off the number one cause of a swim and I suggest we start the numbering with that.

1. I paddle a canoe

Dave's International Scale of River Difficulty:

Class I: Easy. Fast moving water with riffles and small waves.Swimming is pleasant, shore easily reached. Almost all gear andequipment is recovered. Boat is just slightly scratched.

Class II: Novice. Straightforward rapids with wide, clearchannels which are evident without scouting.Swimming to eddies may require moderate effort. Climbing out ofriver may involve slippery rocks and shrub-induced lacerations.Paddles travel a great distance downstream requiring a lengthywalk. Canoe hits a submerged rock leaving a ding on gunwale.

Class III: Intermediate. Rapids with moderate, irregular waveswhich may be difficult to avoid. Water is swallowed. Legs arerepeatedly ground against sharp pointy rocks. Several eddiesare missed while swimming. Difficult decision whether or not tostay with boat is made. Decision to stay with boat results inmoment of terror when swimmer realizes they are downstream ofboat. Paddle is recirculated gently in small hole way upstream.All personal possesions are removed from boat and floated indifferent directions. Paddling partners run along river bankshouting helpful instructions. Boat is munched against largeboulder hard enough to leave series of deep gouges. Sunglassesfall off.

Class IV: Advanced. Intense, powerful but predictable rapidsrequiring precise swimming in turbulent water. Swimming mayrequire 'must' moves above dangerous hazards. 'Must' moves aredowngraded to 'strongly recommended' after they are missed.Sensation of disbelief is experienced while about to swim largedrops. Frantic swimming towards shore is alternated with franticswimming away from shore to avoid strainers. Rocks are clung towith death grip. Paddle is completely forgotten. One shoe isremoved. Hydraulic pressure removes car keys and credit cardsfrom zippered paddle jacket pocket. Paddle partners runningalong stream look genuinely concerned while lofting throw ropes20 feet behind swimmer. Paddle partners stare slack-jawed andpoint in amazement at canoe which is finally stopped by majorfeature. Climbing up river bank involves an inverted tree. Oneof those little spring-loaded pins that attaches watch towatchband is missing. Contact lenses are moved to rear ofeyeballs.

Class V and beyond: Expert. Not recommended for swimming.